恩典国际圣经学院

第十七课 养育子女
lesson 17 Parenting

But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.

Matthew 18:6

凡 使 这 信 我 的 一 个 小 子 跌 倒 的 , 倒 不 如 把 大 磨 石 拴 在 这 人 的 颈 项 上 , 沉 在 深 海 里 . 马太福音18:6

Introduction 引言

Many people read the verse from up above and attribute Jesus’ words to adults who sexually mistreat children or physically abuse them. Certainly, these words would apply to such impenitent people as that, however, have you considered other applications to these words of Jesus? What about…

许多父母读了上面的经文后,认为耶稣的话是针对那些对儿童进行性虐待或身体虐待的成人讲的。当然,这些话适用于那种如此不悔改的人,然而,你是否考虑过在其他情况下应用耶稣的这些话?比如…

– The dad who refuses to discipline his children

  • 拒绝管教孩子的爸爸

  • The mom who never had time for her children growing up

  • 从来没有时间陪伴孩子成长的妈妈

  • The divorced home

  • 离异家庭

  • The home where Christianity is null and void except for an occasional appearance at church throughout the year

  • 一年里除了偶尔出现在教会,基督教在家庭中的作用无足轻重。

Parenting is a far greater responsibility than most of us are willing to admit. Like many things in life, we just accept the skills for parenting to drop out of the sky and fall into our brains, only discovering sometimes too late that these gifts never fell from the sky.

养育儿女的责任远比我们大多数人愿意承认的更为重要。像人生中很多事情,我们只是认为养育儿女的方法从天而降,自然而然就知道怎么做,但是当发现这些技巧从不会从天上掉下来时已为时已晚。

The good news is that the Bible is full of tips and advice for Christian households. Since God created us, he ought to know how we are to be parented as well.

好消息是圣经给基督徒家庭诸多窍门和忠告。既然神创造了我们,他诚然 也知道怎样抚养我们。

Psalm 139:13-16 “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, 16 your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”

诗篇139:13-16 我 的 肺 腑 是 你 所 造 的 ; 我 在 母 腹 中 , 你 已 覆 庇 我 . 14我 要 称 谢 你 , 因 我 受 造 , 奇 妙 可 畏 ; 你 的 作 为 奇 妙 , 这 是 我 心 深 知 道 的 . 15我 在 暗 中 受 造 , 在 地 的 深 处 被 联 络 ; 那 时 , 我 的 形 体 并 不 向 你 隐 藏 . 16我 未 成 形 的 体 质 , 你 的 眼 早 已 看 见 了 ; 你 所 定 的 日 子 , 我 尚 未 度 一 日 ( 或 译 : 我 被 造 的 肢 体 尚 未 有 其 一 ) , 你 都 写 在 你 的 册 上 了 .

Parents must be goal oriented 父母必须确定目标

Parents continually try to help their children figure out what they want to do in life because they want their children to succeed. In order to help our children discover their gifts we might say, “You might be good at this; you should try to go to ———- school.” As parents we all recognize the importance of seeing further into the future than just the next video game that our child is going to play with his/her friend.

父母们不断地努力来帮助他们的孩子明确他们一生想要做的事,因为他们想让孩子们成功。为了帮助孩子发现自己的恩赐我们可以说,“你可能擅长这个;你应该努力进———-学校。”作为父母,我们都承认为孩子远瞻未来比孩子和他/她的朋友玩的下一个电子游戏更重要,未来不是孩子和他/她的朋友玩的下一个电子游戏。

Genesis 18:19 For I have chosen him, so that he will direct his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing what is right and just, so that the Lord will bring about for Abraham what he has promised him.“

创世纪18:19 我 眷 顾 他 , 为 要 叫 他 吩 咐 他 的 众 子 和 他 的 眷 属 遵 守 我 的 道 , 秉 公 行 义 , 使 我 所 应 许 亚 伯 拉 罕 的 话 都 成 就 了 .

  • Abraham was goal-oriented and that was that they keep the commands of the LORD. He did not leave this duty up to others.

  • 亚伯拉罕是有目标导向的人,目标就是要他的孩子们遵守神的诫命。他没有把这个责任留给其他人。

Consider the following goals a parent might have for his child and how the behavior of the family will be affected by that goal…

思考以下父母可以为孩子确定的目标,以及这个目标如何影响到家庭的行为…

  • Working hard at whatever job you do

  • 无论你做什么工作,要努力去做

  • Keeping a strong faith in Jesus

  • 持守对耶稣的坚定信仰

  • Being successful with the gifts that God has granted you in life

  • 用神赋予你人生的恩赐获得成功

  • Finding a Christian spouse

  • 寻找一位基督徒配偶

  • Being a productive servant of Christ in life either in full-time ministry or in lay ministry

  • 无论是全职侍奉或是作为平信徒在教会服侍要做一个一生能多结果子的基督的仆人。

You brought these children into the world 你把这些孩子带入世界

Whether it was the heat of passion, or a well-planned and thoughtfully considered event, or just one of those ”accidents“ that took place when you thought you were done having children, never forget who brought those lambs of God into the world.

无论是一时激情,还是一个经过精心计划和周全考虑地受孕,或是当你认为你不再生孩子时发生了”意外“,永远不要忘了是谁把神的这些羊带入这个世界。

Consider the impact that the following organizations can have regarding the nurturing of our children…

考虑以下的机构可能对于我们孩子的抚养方面产生的影响…

  • The government did not bring these children into the world

  • 政府没把这些孩子带入世界

  • The church didn’t bring your children into the world

  • 教会没把你的孩子带入世界

  • Schools didn’t bring your children into the world

  • 学校没把你的孩子带入世界

· Day-care centers didn’t bring your children into the world

  • 托管中心没把你的孩子带入世界

  • Grandparents and other relatives didn’t bring your children into the world

  • 祖父母和其他亲戚没把你的孩子带入世界

You brought your children into the world and therefore properly caring for your children both physically and especially spiritually must be your top priority. Or else, who know what they might look like in this life or worse yet, in eternity…

你把你的孩子带入这个世界,因此正确地在身体上,尤其是灵性上照顾孩子必须是你首要的事情。否则,谁知道他们这一生会是什么样,或者,更糟的是死后什么样…

Read the following…

阅读以下经文…

1 Timothy 5:8 If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

提摩太前书5:8 人 若 不 看 顾 亲 属 , 就 是 背 了 真 道 , 比 不 信 的 人 还 不 好 , 不 看 顾 自 己 家 里 的 人 , 更 是 如 此 .

God’s goals for us 神给我们的目标

Proverbs 22:6 - Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.

箴言22:6 教 养 孩 童 , 使 他 走 当 行 的 道 , 就 是 到 老 他 也 不 偏 离 .

What we choose for our child to eat each day will in many ways set the course for the child’s long-term diet. If he was raised with a healthy balance of food, he will most likely continue such a diet in his future years with his future family. The same will be true with the spiritual habits that we instill in our children. Consider the following habits…

我们每天选择给孩子吃的食物在很多方面将使孩子形成长期的饮食习惯。如果他吃的是健康均衡的食物长大,他很可能在未来成家后继续这样的饮食习惯。我们慢慢灌输给孩子灵性的好习惯也是同样的道理。思考以下的习惯…

  • If studying God’s Word at home is not modeled by the parent, it most like won’t be… (finish the sentence)

  • 如果父母没有在家中树立学习神话语的榜样,很可能将来不会…(完成句子)

  • If church attendance was sporadic in the home and not regular, we can expect our children to…

  • 如果家里只是偶尔而不是经常地去教会,可想而知我们的孩子…

  • If leisure was at least as important if not more important than worshipping our God in life, then we can expect our children…

  • 如果娱乐至少和在生活中敬拜神一样重要,那么,可想而知我们的孩子

  • If we expect the church to teach our children God’s Word, we can expect our children to look to…

  • 如果我们指望教会来教导孩子神的话语,可想而知我们的孩子指望…

  • If we expect the schools our children attend to teach our children about the origin of life, we can expect our children…

  • 如果我们指望孩子的学校来教导关于生命的起源,可想而知我们的孩子…

Ephesians 6:4 - Bring your children up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

以弗所书6:4 你们作父亲的,不要惹儿女的气,只要照着主的教训和警戒,养育他们。

  1. Who are those instructions directed to? The father or the mother?

    这些教导是针对谁的?爸爸还是妈妈?

  2. Who do you think typically does the instructing in Christian homes, the mother or the father?

    你认为在基督徒家中通常是谁教导神的话?妈妈还是爸爸?

Joshua 24:15 - Joshua declared, ”As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.“

约书亚记24:15 约书亚宣告,”至 於 我 和 我 家 , 我 们 必 定 事 奉 耶 和 华 .“

We should keep this goal constantly before us as though our child’s destiny were on the line.

我们应该不懈地持守这个目标就像对孩子来说命运攸关。

With every good goal there must also be a good plan 每个好的目标后面一定也有个好计划

Even God makes plans. Read the following…

即使神也有计划。阅读以下经文

1 Peter 1:18-20 For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your forefathers, 19 but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect. 20 He was chosen before the creation of the world, but was revealed in these last times for your sake.

彼得前书1:18-20 知 道 你 们 得 赎 , 脱 去 你 们 祖 宗 所 传 流 虚 妄 的 行 为 , 不 是 凭 着 能 坏 的 金 银 等 物 , 19乃 是 凭 着 基 督 的 宝 血 , 如 同 无 瑕 疵 、 无 玷 污 的 羔 羊 之 血 . 20基 督 在 创 世 以 前 是 预 先 被 神 知 道 的 , 却 在 这 末 世 才 为 你 们 显 现 .

God set the course of our salvation before the creation of this world. And that plan was executed with pin-point accuracy when Christ came into the world and redeemed us from sin. Read the following…

神在创世之前就制定了救赎我们的计划。当基督降临到世上为我们付上罪的赎价时,这个计划精确无误地得以执行。阅读以下经文…

Galatians 4:4,5 But when the time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under law, 5 to redeem those under law, that we might receive the full rights of sons.

加拉太书4:4,5 及 至 时 候 满 足 , 神 就 差 遣 他 的 儿 子 , 为 女 子 所 生 , 且 生 在 律 法 以 下 , 5要 把 律 法 以 下 的 人 赎 出 来 , 叫 我 们 得 着 儿 子 的 名 分 .

God expects parents to plan for their child’s future

神期待父母为孩子的未来做计划

Proverbs 14:22 Do not those who plot evil go astray? But those who plan what is good find love and faithfulness.

箴言14:22 谋 恶 的 , 岂 非 走 入 迷 途 麽 ? 谋 善 的 , 必 得 慈 爱 和 诚 实 .

It has been said that the road to hell is paved with good intentions. If those intentions or plans in life leave God or Christ out of the picture, it’s plan destined for failure. But those who make plans in accordance with the will of God, written in the Bible will find love and faithfulness from God .

俗话说通向地狱的路是由善意铺成的。如果这些善意或人生规划将神或基督置之度外,它注定会失败。但是那些根据记载在圣经里神的旨意制定计划的人将发现神的爱和信实。

If you send your child to a public school in America from the 5th grade through the 12th grade (11 years old – 18 years old), this is what you can expect your children to be bombarded by…

如果你送孩子去美国的公立学校从5年级一直读到12年级(11岁到18岁)的话,你能预见孩子将被以下的问题不断轰炸…

  • Lying

撒谎

  • Profanity, dirty jokes, etc. (students and teachers)

亵渎,黄色笑话。等等(学生和老师)

  • Drinking, smoking, drugs

喝酒,抽烟,吸毒

  • Violence and fighting (students with students or with teachers)

暴力和斗殴(学生与学生或与老师)

  • Immodesty, lack of dress codes, coed gym with immodest uniforms

无礼,穿着随便,体育馆内男女学生穿着暴露

  • bad crowds of people

害群之马

  • 7 of 8 students personally knew children who used drugs in random interview

在随机采访中八分之七的学生认识有吸毒的孩子

  • Ridicule and making fun of children who are good or different

嘲笑并讥讽与众不同的好孩子

  • Gossip, slander, tweeting, sexting, backstabbing on facebook

嚼舌,诽谤,吵闹,卖弄风骚,在脸谱网上陷害

  • Cheating

欺骗

  • Stealing and vandalism and lack of respect for authority

偷窃,蓄意破坏,和鄙视领导

  • Dancing with no modesty

毫无节制的跳舞

  • False goals (popularity, wealth)

错误的目标(名气,财富)

  • Classes that justify evolution, abortion, homosexuality, situation ethics, contraceptives, divorce, premarital sex, etc.

将进化论,流产,同性恋,应变道德观〔主张道德观应依情况而定〕,避孕药,离婚,婚前性行为,等等视为正当的教育

  • Reading assignments with immorality, violence, etc.

阅读作业中包括不道德,暴力等内容。

  • Sexual promiscuity at school - petting at school, pregnant girls, children talking openly about sexual relations, everyone expected to do it, etc.

在学校性乱交—校园内亲密爱抚,女孩怀孕,公开谈论性关系,人人期待如此。

  • Schedule conflicts with church activities

学校日程与教会活动安排相冲突

Are you prepared to hand your child over to the state for education (in America)?

你准备将你的孩子拱手让给政府去教育吗(在美国)?

Private Christian education mitigates some of these abuses and minimizes the influence of them taking place at the school, but does not entirely eliminate them because sin still finds its way out of the human heart. However, unlike the state, the church has been given the authority to curb such behavior with guidance from God’s Word and condemn certain behaviors as immoral and forbidden by God.

私立基督徒学校限制其中一些陋习,并把它们对学校的影响降低到最小,但无法完全杜绝,因为罪仍然会在人们心中大行其道。然而,不同于政府的公立学校,教会一直有权用神话语的指导来约束这些行为,并谴责某些行为是邪恶的,是神所禁止的。

Home schooling is another option that is growing increasingly popular in this country. The U.S. Department of Education’s National Center for Education statistics estimate as many as 2 million (about 4% of school-aged children) children are be schooled by their parents and analysts expect this number to continue and grow as America continues its moral decline.

家庭式教育在美国是另一个正日益盛行的教育方式。美国教育部国家教育中心数据统计有两百万儿童(约4%的学龄儿童)在家由他们的父母教育,分析家预计随着美国道德继续世风日下这个数字将有所增加。

What are your children watching on television 你的孩子看什么电视节目

The average American watches TV 50 hours per week - ten hours more than the average workweek.

美国人平均每周看50小时电视节目- 超过了一周的工作时间10 个小时。

A study of 58 hours of prime-time TV revealed: 5 rapes, 7 homosexual acts, 28 acts of prostitution, and 41 examples of sexual relations between unmarried people. But this study was in 1983! (Christian Inquirer)

据调查显示一个58小时黄金时段的节目中有:5起强奸,7起同性恋行为,28起卖淫,41起婚前性行为。而这是1983年的调查!(基督教询问报)

It has been estimated that, by the time the average child reaches age 18, he will have witnessed more than 15,000 murders on TV or in movies.

据估计,到普通孩子年满18岁时,他将在电视或电影里看到超过15000起谋杀场面。

Many Christians think nothing of letting children attend PG or PG-13 movies. Here is a survey of the contents of PG and PG-13 movies in 1988:

许多基督徒认为让孩子看PG( 家长陪同) or PG-13(13岁以下儿童不宜观看)的电影很平常。下面是1988年对于PG and PG-13的电影内容的调查:

25% have the ”f-word.“

25%的影片有脏话

61% take God’s name in vain.

61%的影片妄称神的名

71% contain vulgar references to excretion, intercourse, or genitals.

71%的影片包括涉及粗俗,低级,下流的脏话

50% imply sexual intercourse.

50%的影片暗示性行为

13% show intercourse.

13%的影片播放性行为

30% show explicit nudity.

30%的影片有裸体镜头

75% include moderate or severe violence.

75%的影片包括一般暴力或重度暴力镜头

74% depict alcohol or drug abuse

74%的影片描述酗酒和吸毒

Modern music 现代音乐

On the average, ”teens listen to 10,500 hours of rock between 7-12 grades … just 500 hours less than the total time they spend in school over 12 years“ (US News and World Report)。

平均来讲,”7-12年级的少年要听10,500小时的摇滚音乐…只比他们在校整整12年的总体时间少500小时“( 美国新闻和世界报道)。

Consider the problems with modern music. There is a strong overtone of lyrics that celebrate drugs, sex, and violence

思考现代音乐带来的问题。歌词含有宣扬毒品,性和暴力的强烈暗示。

Fathers and mothers must work together

父母亲一定要共同努力

Ephesians 6:4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

以弗所书6:4 你 们 作 父 亲 的 , 不 要 惹 儿 女 的 气 , 只 要 照 着 主 的 教 训 和 警 戒 养 育 他 们

Proverbs 1:8 Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.

箴言1:8 我 儿 , 要 听 你 父 亲 的 训 诲 , 不 可 离 弃 你 母 亲 的 法 则 ( 或 译 : 指 教 )

Ephesians 6:1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.

以弗所书6:1 你 们 作 儿 女 的 , 要 在 主 里 听 从 父 母 , 这 是 理 所 当 然 的 .

Children are to be obedient to both parents as both of them have been given charge over their children by God. However, the Bible, without exception attributes all discipline to the role of the father and not the mother. There will certainly be exceptions to this role if dad is dead or divorced, but God’s will is that the father train and discipline his sons and daughters.

孩子应该对父母二人都顺服,因为神给他们俩责任管教孩子。然而,圣经,毫无例外的把所有管教孩子的角色归给爸爸而不是妈妈。如果父亲去世或离异,这个角色当然会有例外,但神的旨意是由父亲培养和管教他的儿女。

It’s important that family rules remain consistent. Don’t call each other out and correct each other in front of the children. Discuss your plan and agree upon it and then execute it with love. And never stop praying for your children. We learn this lesson from King David…

很重要的一点是家规要保持一致。(父母)不要在孩子面前互相指责和纠正对方。讨论你们的计划并达成一致意见,然后以爱的方式执行。永远不要停止为你们的孩子祷告。我们向大卫王学习功课…

1 Chronicles 29:19 And give my son Solomon the wholehearted devotion to keep your commands, requirements and decrees and to do everything to build the palatial structure for which I have provided.”

历代志29:19又 求 你 赐 我 儿 子 所 罗 门 诚 实 的 心 , 遵 守 你 的 命 令 、 法 度 、 律 例 , 成 就 这 一 切 的 事 , 用 我 所 预 备 的 建 造 殿 宇 .

Christian Counseling
基督徒心理辅导 大纲
Christian Counseling Catalog
第一课 上瘾
lesson 1 Addictions
第二课 婚前辅导
lesson 2 Marriage
第三课 自杀
Lesson 3 Suicide
第四课 愤怒
lesson 4 Anger
第五课 死亡与悲痛
Lesson 5 Death; grief
第六课 决策
lesson 6 Decision Making
第七课 抑郁
lesson 7 Depression
第八课 结婚,离婚,再婚
Lesson 8 Marriage, Divorce, & Remarriage
第九课 家庭暴力
Lesson 9 Domestic violence
第十课 妒忌和嫉妒
Lesson 10 Envy and Jealousy
第十一课 宽恕
Lesson 11 Forgiveness
第十二课 内疚
lesson 12 Guilt
第十三课 爱、归属、自尊
Lesson 13 Love, Belonging, & Self Esteem
第十四课 属灵的争战(第一部分)
Lesson 14 Spiritual Warfare
第十四课 属灵的争战(第二部分)
Lesson 14 Spiritual Warfare II
第十五课 金钱危机
Lesson 15 Money Crisis
第十六课 痛苦和磨难
Lesson 16 Pain & Suffering
第十七课 养育子女
lesson 17 Parenting
第十八课 完美主义
lesson 18 Perfectionism
第十九课 偏见
lesson 19 Prejudice
第十七课 养育子女
lesson 17 Parenting