恩典国际圣经学院

第四课 妒忌和羡慕
lesson 4 Jealousy and Envy

Jealousy and Envy 妒忌和羡慕
Case Study … 1 案例研究…1
  • Steve is well-educated and successful. He can’t help thinking that his older brother has a better life than he does, especially when something positive happens in his brother’s life.

  • 史蒂夫受过良好的教育,并且很成功。他总认为他的哥哥比他生活得更好,尤其是当他哥哥生活中有好事情发生时。

  • Madison can’t seem to keep secrets to herself. She can’t seem to avoid the temptation to share with her friends the latest gossip on someone else.

  • 麦迪逊似乎不能守住秘密。她似乎无法抵挡和朋友散布别人的最新八卦的诱惑。

Terms/Definitions … 2 术语/定义… 2

Jealousy and envy are closely related and somewhat hard to distinguish.

嫉妒和羡慕意思很接近,有些难以区分。

Jealousy is the fear of losing something that a person possesses. Jealousy is often characterized by fear of loss, distrust, anxiety, and anger. Jealousy often involves a third person to the situation. It is often referred to a romantic jealousy. (Salovey, P. 1991)

嫉妒 是害怕失去自己拥有的东西。嫉妒经常具有害怕失去,不信任,焦虑和愤怒的特征。嫉妒常常将第三者卷入进去。通常指恋爱中的嫉妒。

Envy is the sinful desire to have what someone else does. Envy is characterized by feelings of resentment or inferiority.

羡慕 是想拥有别人的东西的罪恶的欲望。羡慕含有怨恨或自卑的特征。

Jealousy and Envy are both based in fear; the fear of not getting what one desires or losing what one has.

嫉妒和羡慕都基于害怕的原因;害怕得不到想要的或失去自己拥有的东西。

(Perrott & Smith, 1993)

Causes/Character … 3 原因/特征… 3

There are specific reasons that envy and jealousy appear:

以下是羡慕和嫉妒产生的具体原因:

Discontentment: an individual may only focus on what God hasn’t given rather than on the blessings he or she has.

不满足:人只盯着神没有给的东西,而不是自己拥有的祝福。

Comparison: Many people have the false belief that they can only see themselves in comparison to others.

比较:很多人错误地认为他们只有与别人相比才能显出自己。

Pride: Envy and Jealous are driven by the false idea that personal satisfaction.

骄傲:羡慕和嫉妒被个人满足的错误观念驱使。

Counseling Advice … 4 辅导建议… 4

Genesis 3:5 ~ “for God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”

创世纪3:5 ~“因 为   神 知 道 , 你 们 吃 的 日 子 眼 睛 就 明 亮 了 , 你 们 便 如 神 能 知 道 善 恶 。”

While there is a subtle difference between the definition of envy and jealously, the two sins are often connected or linked together.

虽然羡慕和嫉妒的定义有细微差别,这两种罪常常被联系在一起。

Let’s review. Envy is the desire to have what someone else does. How did Eve demonstrate that she was tempted to be envious of God?

我们回顾一下。羡慕是想要拥有别人的东西的欲望。夏娃怎样表现出她受试探而羡慕神?

James 3:13-16 雅各书 3:13-16

Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. 14 But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. 15 Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. 16 For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.

你 们 中 间 谁 是 有 智 慧 有 见 识 的 呢 ? 他 就 当 在 智 慧 的 温 柔 上 显 出 他 的 善 行 来 。 14你 们 心 里 若 怀 着 苦 毒 的 嫉 妒 和 分 争 , 就 不 可 自 夸 , 也 不 可 说 谎 话 抵 挡 真 道 。 15这 样 的 智 慧 不 是 从 上 头 来 的 , 乃 是 属 地 的 , 属 情 欲 的 , 属 鬼 魔 的 。 16在 何 处 有 嫉 妒 、 分 争 , 就 在 何 处 有 扰 乱 和 各 样 的 坏 事 。

What advice does James offer to someone who is harboring jealousy and envy in his or her heart?

雅各给心怀嫉妒和羡慕的人提出什么建议?

Steps to Follow … 5 遵循步骤… 5

A counselor can help a client to battle envy in the following ways:

心理辅导员可以帮助辅导对象用以下的方式对付羡慕:

1)Focus on God’s grace in Jesus Christ;

专注于神在耶稣基督里的恩典;

2)Focus on all the blessings he has given;

专注于他已经拥有的所有祝福;

3)Focus on ways to serve others

专注于服事别人的方法

Explain how the three points can help someone to confront envy.

请解释这三种观点怎样帮助人对抗羡慕。

Light on the Path … 6 路上的光… 6

1 Corinthians 13:4-5 哥林多前书13:4-5

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

我 若 将 所 有 的 周 济 穷 人 , 又 舍 己 身 叫 人 焚 烧 , 却 没 有 爱 , 仍 然 与 我 无 益 。4爱 是 恒 久 忍 耐 , 又 有 恩 慈 ; 爱 是 不 嫉 妒 ; 爱 是 不 自 夸 , 不 张 狂 ,

How does Paul encourage us to break the chains of jealous and envy?

保罗怎样鼓励我们断开嫉妒和羡慕的锁链?

Read the following statement: Remember all the positive aspects of the person with whom you are jealous. Now, do something to show love to that person.

阅读下面这句话:记住你嫉妒的人所有的积极方面。现在做些事情向那个人表达你的关爱。

How could that statement help someone struggling with envy and jealousy?

这句话怎样帮助与羡慕和嫉妒争战的人?

Substitute the name “Jesus” for every time that the word “love” is mentioned in 1 Corinthians 13. How would that exercise help someone who struggles with jealousy?

请将哥林多前书13章中每次出现的“爱”字以“耶稣”的名字代替。这将怎样帮助那些与嫉妒争战的人?

2 Corinthians 5:14, 15 ~ For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. 15 And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.

哥林多后书5:14, 15原 来 基 督 的 爱 激 励 我 们 ; 因 我 们 想 , 一 人 既 替 众 人 死 , 众 人 就 都 死 了 ; 15并 且 他 替 众 人 死 , 是 叫 那 些 活 着 的 人 不 再 为 自 己 活 , 乃 为 替 他 们 死 而 复 活 的 主 活 。

Unresolved resentment may be the reason one is jealous or envious toward someone else. How does 2 Corinthians 5 help to combat resentment?

怨恨得不到解决是一个人对别人产生嫉妒或羡慕的原因。哥林多后书5章怎样帮助克服怨恨的问题?

Some Mindful Questions … 7 思考题… 7
  1. Do you find yourself often critical or judgmental towards others?

    你发现自己经常对别人进行批判或论断吗?

  2. Do you attempt to ruin other people’s happiness?

    你想要损害其他人的幸福吗?

  3. Do you feel that God has let you down at times?

    你感到神有时让你感到失望吗?

  4. Do you find it difficult to be happy for others?

    你发现很难为别人高兴吗?

  5. Are you not content unless you are the best at something?

    除非你在某方面最好,否则你不满意吗?

Now, It’s Your Turn … 8 现在,实例练习… 8
  • Steve is well-educated and successful. He can’t help thinking that his older brother has a better life than he does, especially when something positive happens in his brother’s life.

  • 史蒂夫受过良好的教育,并且很成功。他总认为他的哥哥比他生活得更好,尤其是当哥哥生活中有好事情发生时。

  • Madison can’t seem to keep secrets to herself. She can’t seem to avoid the temptation to share with her friends the latest gossip on someone else.

  • 麦迪逊似乎不能守住秘密。她似乎无法抵挡和朋友散布别人的最新八卦的诱惑。

1) How would a discussion on stewardship and the use of spiritual gifts help Steve and Madison?

讨论管家的职分和使用属灵恩赐怎样帮助史蒂夫和麦迪逊?

2) Would you encourage Madison to go back and apologize for any gossip she may have spread? Why? Why not?

你会鼓励麦迪逊回去为她所散布的流言蜚语道歉吗?为什么?

References: Parrott, W. Gerrod; Smith, Richard H. Distinguishing the experiences of envy and jealousy. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Vol 64(6), Jun 1993, 906-920.

Salovey, Peter. (1991). The Psychology of Jealousy and Envy. New York, NY: Guiford Press.

Christian-Counseling-Part 1
基督徒心理辅导 大纲
Christian Counseling Catalog
第一课 上瘾
lesson 1 Addictions
第二课 抑郁症
lesson 2 Depression
第三课 焦虑
lesson 3 Anxiety
第四课 妒忌和羡慕
lesson 4 Jealousy and Envy
第五课 生气的解决方案
lesson 5 Anger Resolution
第六课 愧疚和羞耻
lesson 6 Guilt and Shame
第七课 悲痛和损失
lesson 7 Grief and Loss
第八课 自尊
lesson 8 Self Esteem
第四课 妒忌和羡慕
lesson 4 Jealousy and Envy