恩典国际圣经学院

第八课:处理拒绝
Session Eight: Handling objections

Session Eight: Handling objections
第八课:处理拒绝

Goal 目标

In this session you will review the witness outline you learned during the week and you will discuss ways to handle the objections people may raise to the gospel.

在本课中,你将复习近几周学到的见证提纲,并讨论如何处理拒绝福音者的对抗。

Prayer 祷告
Review 复习
  • Present to the class the witness outline you learned since the last class.

  • 在课堂上展示你自上周以来学到的见证提纲。

  • Report on your attempts to witness to your grace friend(s) or someone else.

  • 报告你向恩典朋友或他人见证福音的经历。

Handling Objections 处理拒绝

What is the most challenging objection to a witness you have ever heard?
你听过的最强烈的反对福音见证的例子是什么?

“But what if he says he doesn’t believe the Bible?”

“What if she’s an atheist?”

“What if he asks a question I can’t answer?”

“What if I say something that’s wrong?”

The horrific specter of the objections people may raise tend to haunt “rookie” witnesses. But such anticipated or imagined objections create fear in the experienced witness as well as in the novice.

“如果他说他不相信圣经怎么办?”

“如果她是无神论怎么办?”

“如果他问的问题我不会回答怎么办?”

“如果我说错了怎么办?”

怕人反对的惧怕心理常常让“见证新手”痛苦不堪。而且这种预想或者假设出来的对抗不仅在新手身上,也在有经验的见证者身上制造莫名的恐惧。

There are many well-written books which provide answers of logic and faith to every conceivable objection to the message of God’s Word. Witnesses will want to hone their skills by studying them.

有很多优秀书籍都为拒绝神话语信息的每一种反对意见做出了有理且有信心的答复。见证者若能学习其中的内容,将会对他们的见证技巧有很大提高。

When we share our faith in Jesus with a friend, however, we are not in a forum for dealing in any depth with objections. The purpose of our speaking is to share the good news that Jesus is the Savior. The handling of objections is best accomplished at a future time – after the foundation of the gospel has been laid.

当我们与一个朋友分享相信耶稣的信仰时,我们并不是要开一个讨论会来处理任何深度的反对意见。我们说话的目的是要分享耶稣是救主的好消息。处理反对意见的最好时间是在打好福音基础之后。

You have good reason to rejoice when objections are voiced. If there are unsettled issues when your witness winds to a close, you are left with an open door for another witness conversation. Since the person asked a question you didn’t answer, you can raise the subject again. Those “second tries” will also offer you an opportunity to prepare yourself to handle the objection in a positive way. You may even invite other resource people to go along with you: a more experienced evangelist or pastor, for example.

当反对意见被说出来时,你有很好的理由让自己欢喜。如果在你讲完见证时出现了一个未解决的问题,你就又有机会开启另一次见证对话了。因为对方问了一个你没有回答过的问题,你就可以再次提起这个话题。那些“再次尝试”也会让你有机会预备自己以积极的方式处理反对意见。你甚至可以邀请其他资源人士和你同去:一个更有经验的传教士或牧师等。

Sometimes objections with which a witness is not at all prepared to deal may be raised. There is no shame in honestly saying, “I don’t know the answer to that. But I will find out and get back to you.” That is much preferred to hazarding a guess, especially since another witness opportunity is an answer to an evangelist’s prayer.

有时,对方提出的反对意见可能是见证者根本没有预料到的。这时候你也不用羞愧,诚实地告诉他:“我不知道你的问题怎么回答,不过我可以去查,然后再来告诉你。”这种方法要比冒猜的答案更好,尤其这另外的一次见证机会就是传教士祷告来的机会。

For these reasons, we suggest that a witness deals with objections as quickly as possible (three or four sentences) and then leads the discussion back into the discussion of sin and grace. Reverend Donald A. Abdon in his volume “Training and Equipping the Saints” lists four steps for handling objections.

综上所述,我们提议见证者越快处理掉反对意见越好(用三、四句话结束),然后引导对话转向罪和恩典的讨论。唐纳德 A. 阿布东牧师在他的著作“培训并装备圣徒”中列出了处理对抗的四个步骤。

1. Determine What the Real Objection Is 判断对抗的实质

  • Every objection falls into one of seven categories.

  • 每一种对抗都不外乎以下七类。

    o Some objections concern substitutes for Christ (“All religions are the same”).

    o 一些对抗与基督的替代物有关(“所有宗教都一样”)。

    o Other objections revolve around self-righteousness (“I live by the golden rule”).

    o 其它对抗源于人的自义(“我是按照金科玉律的标准(世界上最高的道德准则)生活的”)。

    o Still other objections lay the blame for failure to respond to the gospel on others (“There are too many hypocrites in the churches”).

    o 还有些人对抗福音的错误在于,他们把自己不能正确回应福音的问题归咎于他人(“教会里的伪君子太多”)。

    o Objections may also be raised because of the reputation of organized churches (“The church is behind the times;” “All the church wants is my money”).

    o 对抗的起因还有可能是当地教会的名声(“教会太落伍了;”“教会只是想从我身上得到钱而已”)。

    o Some people have intellectual problems with Christianity, fearing they will be thought of as unintelligent if they believe in Jesus (“There are so many interpretations of the Bible, which one is right?”).

    o 还有些人对基督教有认识方面的问题。他们害怕如果自己信了耶稣,别人会觉得他们不够理智(“圣经有那么多解释,到底哪个是对的?”)

    o Sometimes transportation, health, clothes and other environmental factors are used to justify not having a healthy relationship with Jesus (“I don’t have anything to wear”).

    o 有时,也有人把和耶稣没有正确关系的原因归咎于自己缺少交通方面的便利、缺少健康、衣服或其它环境因素(“我没有衣服穿”)。

    o And, finally, the pace of life may be thrust in a way (“I work on Sundays;” “I’m too busy”).

    o 最后,生活节奏也可能会成为阻碍(“我星期天要工作”;“我太忙了”)。

    When an objection is offered, remind yourself of the basic misunderstanding from which that idea springs. Recognizing that will help you deal with the objection more easily. Also recognize that objections are rooted in unbelief. The witness who anticipates areas of disagreement is best prepared to defuse them.

    当你听到对抗的意见时,要想到那种对抗背后的误区。能够认识到这一点会帮助你更容易处理那些对抗;同时也要认识到,他们对抗的真正根源在于不信。见证者若能预料对抗意见的种类,就能做出最好的应对准备来消除对抗。

    Be sure to notice that each of these objections leads the discussion away from who Jesus is and what he has done for us. Objections introduce a new subject and sidetrack the discussion from God’s grace. But don’t lose the message you came to present. Remember, you are not representing a “religion”; you are an ambassador of a person. Talk about him. Don’t allow the conversation to get derailed.

    一定要留意,每一种对抗都会让谈话的中心从耶稣身上拉走。耶稣是谁,他为我们做了什么?这才是我们谈话的重点。反对的意见把一个新话题插了进来,让讨论从神的恩典偏离出去,但是一定不要丢掉你打算要呈现的信息。记住,你代表的不是一个“宗教”,你代表一个人。你是他的大使,你要谈论的是他。不要让你的谈话脱离轨道。

2. Accept the Objection 接纳对抗

  • Don’t argue.

  • 不要争辩

    o Debating an objection is one of the most counter-productive approaches a witness could use. A person who does not understand the gospel has no basis for accepting the rest of the Word. The gospel must be shared and received before objections can be cleared away. No one has been argued into the kingdom. Witnessing is not an exercise in debate. It is a sharing of the truth. The witness’s primary function is proclamation, not defense.

    o 与对抗意见争辩是一个见证者使用的最事与愿违的方法之一。不明白福音的人还没有接纳神其它话语的基础,所以必须要和他们先分享福音。只有在接受福音的前提下,对抗才能被消除。没有一个人是通过基督徒的辩论而进到天堂里去的。作见证不是在练习辩论,是分享真理。作见证的基本功能是宣告,不是辩护。

  • Recognize that an objection is a positive sign.

  • 要认识到对抗是一种积极的标志

    o If a person is taking issue with something you said, it is only because he has been listening and is trying to understand. You’ll want to communicate to your host the fact that you don’t consider his question or statement of personal belief to be an attack. Rather let him know you appreciate his willingness to raise objections.

    o 如果有人因你所说的话起争论,只说明他认真听你讲话了,而且努力地想弄明白。你可以告诉对方,你没有因为他的问题或个人信仰的话而感觉受攻击。相反,你要让他知道,你感谢他愿意提出反对意见。

  • Defuse an objection.

  • 消除反对

    o Defusing happens when we acknowledge a person’s objection and affirm that you recognize it to be a problem for your host. You may handle that in several ways.

    o 当我们认可他人的对抗,并确定你认识到那是对方的问题时,对抗就会被缓解。下面是你可以用来处理对抗的几个方法:

    • You may say, “I know that a lot of people feel that way” or “That’s an interesting way of looking at the issue.”

    • 你可以说:“我知道很多人都有那样的感觉”,或者“用那种方式看待这个问题倒挺有趣。”

    • If you can honestly confess this, you may say, “I used to think that myself.”

    • 如果那正好是你的情况,你就可以说:“我以前也是那么想的。”

    • A host’s honesty with you is always a plus. For that reason you might also say, “I’m happy to hear you say that.”

    • 对方对你的诚实永远都是一个优势,你可以因此说:“我很高兴听你那么说。”

    • Another approach to accepting the objection and then moving again toward sharing the gospel is the “Feel, Felt, Found” method. This is one of the most tactful ways of telling someone you don’t agree with him. It works like this. “I understand how you could FEEL that way. I could have FELT that way myself. But I’ve FOUND that….

    • 接受对抗,然后向分享福音的目标继续移动的另一个方法是:“感觉,以前感觉,找到了”的方法。这是告诉一个人你不赞同他的最有技巧的方法之一。比如:“我理解你为什么会有那样的感觉。我以前也有那种感觉,但后来我发现—-。”

Sometimes an objection will anticipate an impending point in the presentation. “If Jesus has forgiven me, why should I live according to the Commandments?” is an example. Should that question come up before you were going to talk about it, you may say, “That’s a very good question and I’m glad you asked it. It’s also a question we’re going to talk about in just a couple of minutes. Could I handle it then?”

有时,对抗会给讲述带来一种期盼的效果。“如果耶稣已经赦免了我,我为什么还要按照十条诫命去生活?”就是一个例子。一旦这个问题在你准备谈论之前出现,你可以说:“那是一个好问题,我很高兴你问到了。这个问题正好是我们接下来的几分钟要谈论的,等会儿就会谈到。”

The purpose of accepting a person’s objection is to keep the lines of communication open and to affirm that you consider your host and his opinions to be important. Framed in New Testament terms, you want your host to know you love him. Be sure to observe, however, that you are not telling your host you agree with his objection. You are only communicating that you are willing to allow him to have his opinion at this point.

接纳对方对抗的目的是让你们的交流能够继续,而且证实了你看重对方,认为他的意见很重要。用新约的术语说,就是你想让对方知道你对他的爱。不过一定要注意,你并没有在对他说你同意他的反对意见,你只让他知道你愿意允许他在这一点上有他自己的看法。

3. Reassert the Subject 再次重申主题

We’ve already mentioned that whenever an objection is raised, a new subject of conversation is introduced. “I had religion shoved down my throat as a child” changes the topic to the host’s parents and his childhood. “I work Sundays” focuses attention on job schedule. The subject you want to present is God’s grace in Jesus. Don’t let that focus slip away.

我们已经提到,当有反对意见出现时,新的话题就会挤进来。“我小时候信教都是被逼无奈”。这句话就把话题转到对方的父母和他的童年上去了。“我星期天要工作。”又把注意力转到工作安排上来了。你想要呈现的主题是神在耶稣里的恩典,不要让那个焦点被挤掉。

The best method for reasserting the subject is to pick out the key word in the objection and use it to springboard back into your reason for being there. This should only require three of four sentences. Here are examples.

重申主题的最好方法是挑选反对意见中的关键词语,再用它作跳板,回到你的目标上去。这只需要三、四句话就能办到。比如:

  • Objection: I don’t believe there is a heaven.

  • 反对意见:我不相信有天堂。

    o Reassertion of subject: There are a lot of people who would agree with you—and a lot of people who would disagree with you. The Bible tells us there is a heaven. And it also tells us how we can be absolutely sure that we’re going to heaven. That’s why I wanted to visit with you and share with you….

    o 重申主题:有很多人会认同你,也有很多人不认同,但圣经告诉我们有天堂。它还告诉我们怎么能确定我们要到天堂去。那就是我来看你并与你分享的原因—-

  • Objection: All religions are the same.

  • 反对意见:所有宗教都是一样的。

    o Reassertion of subject: I know many people feel that way. And on the surface perhaps all religions do seem to be the same. They all hold a belief in some sort of god; there are prayers; believers are urged to do good things. But Christianity is different, because Christianity stakes our eternal welfare on a person, not on us and what we do. I’m here to share what I know about that person, which gets us back to what we were talking about a moment ago….

    o 重申主题:我知道有很多人这么认为。从外表看,好像所有宗教都一样,因为它们都相信某种神明;有祷告;而且信徒都被要求去做善事。但基督教不同,因为基督教把永生的归宿寄托在一个人的身上,不在我们和我们所做的事情上。我在这里就是想和你分享那个人。这就让我们回到了先前所讲的话题上—-

  • Objection: The church is too involved in politics.

  • 反对意见:教会过分参与政治

    o Reassertion of subject: I understand how you could feel that way; there’s much in the newspapers today about the church trying to influence the government. I feel that way myself sometimes when I hear about what some churches do in the name of religion. I feel that way especially because I’ve found that the church should be first concerned about people’s spiritual and eternal welfare. That’s why Jesus came into the world. And that’s what I was getting at when I said….

    o 重申主题:我理解你为什么会有那种感受;当今的报纸登载了很多关于教会试图影响政府的事情。我有时也有这种感觉,尤其在听到有些教会以宗教名义做的事情时,感觉就更强烈了。我也不认同教会这样做,因为我发现,教会应该首先关心人的属灵生命和永恒归宿的问题。这也就是耶稣为什么要到世上来的原因。我说的—,就是这个意思。

Don’t miss how each of the “Reassertion of subject” examples provides you with an opportunity to review the points already covered in the outline before marching on. Be sure to give your host an opportunity to pick up your train of thought before you continue with you presentation.

在你继续后面的内容之前,不要错过每一个“重申主题”的例子是怎样给你提供机会复习提纲中已经涉及到的要点。在你继续往下讲解之前,一定要给你的对象机会让他跟上你的思路。

4. Affirm the Gospel 重申福音

Use the steps we’ve just covered to return the conversation to introducing your friend to Jesus. Be of the same single mindedness that Paul was, “I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified” (1 Corinthians 2:2).

使用我们刚才谈到的方法,把你的对话转到向你的朋友介绍耶稣上来。要向保罗一样用情专一:“我定意不知道别的,只知道耶稣基督并他钉十字架。”(林前2:2)

Prayer 祷告
Assignment 作业
  • Learn another outline for sharing the gospel, commit it to memory, practice it. Share it next week in class.

  • 学习另外一个分享福音的提纲,记下来,练习。下周在课堂上分享。

  • Use a gospel outline to share the gospel with your grace friend or someone else.

  • 使用福音提纲与你的恩典朋友或他人分享福音。

  • Pray for this class, its members, and all the souls the Spirit would reach through us.

  • 为课程祷告,为成员及所有圣灵要透过我们触及的灵魂祷告。

An additional thought
补充想法

When It Seems Witnessing Won’t Do Any Good
当你的见证似乎不起任何作用时

When we consider sharing Jesus with people who seem hostile to the gospel, we might believe our witness won’t do any good, so why try. But the Bible points out that everyone is equally hostile to the gospel (remember Romans 3:10 and Romans 3:23). So don’t let a rough exterior stop you from sharing your faith when the Spirit gives you an opening.
当我们觉得听我们分享福音的人似乎对福音有敌意时,我们可能相信我们的见证不会起任何作用,所以没必要再去努力。但圣经指出,每个人对福音的态度都是有敌意的(记得罗马书3:10和罗马书3:23)。所以,当圣灵给你机会时,不要让一个粗糙的表象阻止你与人分享你的信仰。
And don’t sell the gospel’s ability to change people’s hearts short. Romans 1:16 says that “the gospel… is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes.” The Greek word for power in that verse is dynamis. It can describe the power of a large bomb. The gospel is explosively powerful. When we Christians speak it, share it, or tell it, we unleash the gospel’s awesome power.
而且不要低估福音改变人心的能力。罗1:16说,“福音—本是神的大能,要救一切相信的人。”“大能”一词的希腊语意思是发动力,可以用来描述大型原子弹的威力。福音也具有爆炸性的能力。当我们基督徒讲说、分享或把福音告诉人时,我们就会释放福音奇妙的能力。
Even when a friend seems unreceptive to the good news of God’s love, we Christians will still want to share it with her. The reason: because Jesus is our Savior we have been turned into “gospel sharers.” 1 Peter 2:9 describes us this way, “You are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.”
即使当一个朋友似乎不接受神爱他的好消息,我们基督徒还是会想和他分享。原因是:因为耶稣是我们的救主,我们已经被转变成“福音的分享者”。彼得前书2:9这样描述我们:“惟有你们是被拣选的族类,是有君尊的祭司,是圣洁的国度,是属神的子民,要叫你们宣扬那召你们出黑暗、入奇妙光明者的美德。”
The fact is, even if none of our witnessing efforts ever were used by the Spirit to bring one person to faith, we’d still share our faith because God doesn’t give us a choice. His command is “Go into the world and preach the good news to all creation” (Mark 16:15).
事实是,即使圣灵没有使用我们任何一个人的见证努力,没有让一个人相信,我们还是要分享我们的信仰,因为神没有让我们去选择讲不讲,他的命令是“你们往普天下去,传福音给万民听(“万民”原文作“凡受造的”)(可16:15)。
But God’s gospel does work and when people hear it, the Spirit brings them to faith. Not always on our time schedule – but on God’s. The Lord promises, “My word…will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it” (Isaiah 55:11).
但神的福音的确在做工,而且在人听到它时,圣灵就带领他们相信。尽管不总是按照我们的时间表,而是按照神的时间表。神应许说:“我口所出的话也必如此,决不徒然返回,却要成就我所喜悦的,在我发它去成就的事上(“发它去成就”或作“所命定的”)必然亨通。(赛55:11 )

Evangelism(2)
福音传道课程大纲
Syllabus of Evangelism
第一课:找到我们的个人见证方法
Session One: Identifying our Personal Approach to Witnessing
第二课:见证和你
Session Two: Witnessing and You
第三课:不信者的特点
Session Three: The Characteristics of Unbelievers
第四课:建立恩典关系
Session Four: Building grace relationships
第五课:开始谈论属灵话题
Session Five: Starting conversations about spiritual matters
第六课:谈论罪与恩典
Session Six: Talking about sin and grace
第七课:分享信息的帮助和提示
Session Seven: Helps and Hints for Sharing the Message
第八课:处理拒绝
Session Eight: Handling objections
第九课:克服见证的个人障碍
Session Nine: Overcoming personal barriers to witnessing
第十课:继续培养和培训策略
Session Ten: Strategies for continuing nurture and for training others
第十一课和第十二课:意见反馈和提高
Session Eleven and Twelve: Feedback and progress
第八课:处理拒绝
Session Eight: Handling objections